Speculative Analysis

Hands Up!

“I'm sorry. It's nothin' personal. You just picked the wrong shift to be working tonight. I don't want to see nobody get hurt so just do what I say, no questions—got it? Got it? Nod your head, say 'yes', quack like a damn duck! Do somethin' so I know you heard me. Got it? Good.

“Now, unplug that phone over there. You got a cellphone? Turn it off. I don't have all night. I got to be long gone before the sun comes up. And don't even think about trippin' no alarm.

“Get your hands up! Hands up, I said. Nah, put 'em back down. You look ridiculous. Like you think I was going to shoot you or somethin'. But, I'm watchin' you. No funny stuff. Got it? Good.

“Better put them hands up, again. You make me nervous sittin' there like that.

“Why am I here? Because of my always on call, never enough pay, bleed my heart out for no word of thanks job. I spend all day on the phones, answering calls from people that shouldn't even own a computer. 'My email’s broken.' 'I get too much spam.' 'I am a long time customer ….

“They're driving me crazy. I gotta get outta there, I tell you.

“So, tonight, I'm doing something to change that. Drastic? Yeah, I guess you could call it that. Put your hands down. You still look ridiculous.

“Oh, stop wimperin'.

“Go? Hell no, you can't go. I'm not leavin' yet, and neither are you. 'Cause you and me are going to sit here till we get this story done. I'll do all the talkin', since I'm just the voice in your head. You're going to have to do the typing. Got it?”

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